Doesn't Remind Me
by shiawasena neko
Summary: Set prior to St. Joseph's Shelter for Men, this mpreg explores the three times Sweeney Todd gave birth and the one time his child lived. Rated for rape and birthing/miscarriage scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is a prequel to Sweeney Todd's life in the story St. Joseph's Shelter for Men, which can be found on my profile page.**

 **Note that there are descriptions of rape and miscarriage. If that bothers you, don't read this.**

 **Finally, thank you to my wonderful beta, Phish Tacko.**

Chapter 1

It was late autumn, the time of the year when things started truly getting cold. The leaves had fallen from the trees, the skies, though almost always gray, had a darker tinge to them. There'd even been an early snow that had driven off many of Benjamin's customers, leaving only the businessmen who had to look professional. And so, Benjamin and Lucy were a little low on cash. But that didn't matter. Not to them.

The baby was due within the month. They'd been awaiting it for much of the year. Benjamin had spent the spring vomiting and the summer waddling, but that was fine. All of it meant that the baby was still alive and probably healthy.

Lucy and Benjamin sat by the fire, Lucy knitting another pair of booties for their child while Benjamin idly ran a hand over his stomach, smiling to himself. He hadn't been feeling well that day – he'd had many episodes of cramps in the morning, but they'd subsided and now he felt fine. "False labor contractions", the doctor had called it. He'd experienced them before.

"You're making a pair of yellow ones?" He asked, noting the color of the booties.

"I've already made two sets of green. Thought I'd change it up." Lucy smiled at him.

"I'm sure that little Edward or Ruth will love them," Benjamin replied.

That was what they planned to name the child – Edward Benjamin if it was a boy, Ruth if it was a girl.

"I doubt they will know the difference or care about the color, but they'll keep the infant warm – that's what's most important."

"You're right," Benjamin answered.

"Speaking of the baby… I checked the crib again. Did you purchase another doll?" Lucy asked, a glint in her eye. Benjamin had been going all out trying to prepare for their child's arrival. He'd had a friend help him build a crib, which now sat in the corner of the room, not too close but not too far from the hearth, and he'd been purchasing everything from cloth for diapers to dolls. The one that Lucy had saw was shaped like a happy-looking tiger; a large, mystical cat that they'd seen drawings of once before.

"Yes," Benjamin admitted. "I want…" He trailed off, gathering his thoughts. "I want to make sure our child has everything they could ever want. And the doll wasn't so expensive."

"But our budget –"

"Yes, I know. I promise you, it didn't cost much at all, or I'd not have bought it."

"Alright." Lucy went back to her knitting.

There was a peaceful silence for a few moments. Then, Benjamin groaned. Lucy looked up.

"Everything alright?"

"Ah… just… another… one of those false labor – dammit!" Benjamin yelled, doubling over. Well, doubling over as far as he could go, being as big as he was.

Lucy dropped the booties and came to her husband's side.

"Does it hurt worse?"

Benjamin nodded weakly. He was beginning to sweat.

"The baby's not due for another three weeks…" Lucy eyed the corner of the room, where her coat was. "I'll get the doctor."

"No, no – we can't afford – agh!" Benjamin yelled again. He could feel something wet. Lucy saw blood.

"No, no, I must get him. I'll return as soon as possible. And Benjamin," She said, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Just… don't look down." She looked into his eyes. "Everything's going to be alright."

Lucy quickly prepared herself, kissed her husband on the head and made her way out onto the street.

She'd been present when her sisters had delivered their children, and had known enough about it to understand that everything would not be alright. But if Benjamin looked down, his panic would only make things worse.

00

Three hours later, the bed was stained with blood and Benjamin was weak, but conscious. In his arms he held Edward. Edward, who was such a beautiful baby, with thick hair like his father's and a nose like his mother's.

"I'm very sorry, but there was nothing that could be done." The doctor whispered to Lucy. "The umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Things like this… they just happen sometimes."

Lucy nodded. She wanted to cry, but didn't. Benjamin would do enough of that for both of them when he came out of his shock, and she had to be strong. They were still young, and could always try again. Time was on their side.

That was something to hold on to, at least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note that this chapter contains descriptions of rape and miscarriage. If that bothers you, don't read this.**

 **Thank you to my wonderful beta, Phish Tacko!**

Chapter 2

The only thing that Sweeney remembered about being pulled onto the ship was a brief feeling of relief that he was, in fact, still alive and was being rescued.

Besides that, it was a blur. His body had fought so hard over the past weeks that it gave out upon reprieve and he fell unconscious soon after being brought below decks.

A young boy no older than 16 had carried him below and found a bed for him, and hadn't left his side since. He'd been the one to notice the fever and fetch someone to look at him.

Michael, the only person on the ship with any medical knowledge, had examined Sweeney, and declared that it was lucky that he was asleep; his body needed rest and he wouldn't be feeling the terrible pain that he was most likely in.

Sweeney wasn't resting, though. He was dreaming about something horrible; a memory from his time in prison.

00

Leroy was the name of the guard who'd taken a liking to him, and Sweeney was neither attracted to him at all, nor did he enjoy being taken on a nightly basis.

In his mind's eye, he recalled it – Leroy gagging him with a cloth and forcing him to bend over the side of his bed. The man was so much larger than him – a good six inches taller and sixty pounds heavier, that it didn't take much for the prisoner to be subdued.

He tried to fight at first. Tried to squirm, see if he could wriggle his way free. Leroy wasn't having it. With one massive hand, he grabbed Sweeney's hair and forced his face into the mattress, effectively suffocating him.

"You like that?!" The guard hissed, his disgusting breath hot in Sweeney's ear. "I got time, can keep doing this 'til you're ready."

Out of oxygen, Sweeney relented, shaking his head 'yes'. Seconds later, he felt the man enter him, burning and tearing him. He felt something wet, blood, his blood, which Leroy would use as lubrication…

Then something shook him awake.

"Wha-?!" He cried out.

His eyes fluttered open and he saw a young man with long, blonde hair sitting near him.

"I'm sorry sir, but you were yelling and flailing and I-"

Sweeney exhaled.

"…It's fine. I'm sorry."

"Are you alright? I can get Michael to come back – he knows more about medicine. He said…"

Sweeney zoned out and closed his eyes again. He wasn't asleep, but he was trapped in a memory once again.

00

In the end, he'd used Leroy's attraction to him to escape.

"Yeah, you like it," The guard growled. "And I like you. All swollen and big with child…"

Sweeney held back the urge to gag. His pregnancy was one of the many side effects of Leroy's affections, and now, at seven months along, he knew he'd have to escape sooner rather than later.

He clenched his teeth, took a deep breath, and went in for the kill.

"I do like it," He said, sensually as possible. He wanted to vomit.

Leroy was stunned. The prisoner had not said but one word to him during all of their nights together, and now, he was saying that he enjoyed this?!

"…I knew you'd come around."

Full of joy, Leroy withdrew and gingerly helped Sweeney turn over so that they were face to face. As he did this, Sweeney kept his eyes focused on the guard while reaching for the shard of glass he'd stolen during one of the prison riots. It had been hidden under his pillow. He reached out and…

He felt around.

Got it.

With one swoop, he plunged the shard into the guard's neck. Caught off guard, the man tried to shout and fight, but by then, Sweeney was in the clear. He shoved Leroy onto the bed and slashed him again. Within moments, the guard bled out. It was a quiet affair – quieter than he had expected, but that made it all the better. He quickly got dressed, took the guard's keys, and made his way out.

00

"…Did you hear me?" The blonde boy asked. It seemed like the stranger they'd pulled aboard might be asleep again.

"Hm?" Sweeney opened his eyes.

"I said that Michael said that you… you show signs of having recently…" He trailed off. He seemed to be uncomfortable with the subject.

"Signs of what?" Sweeney growled, coming off angrier than he meant. The boy didn't seem harmful, so he softened his expression.

"...Signs of recently having given birth." Anthony broke eye contact.

Sweeney sighed.

"He's correct."

"But then where's the baby?"

Sweeney glared at him. How stupid was this boy?

"Well, he's not with me, so something must have separated us."

Anthony's eyes grew wide.

"I'm terribly sorry."

"It's not your fault."

00

Sweeney had made it to the coast in good time. Despite his condition, he'd managed to survive. He found shelter in a cave, and had even managed to begin building a raft. The weather was good – calm, not overly hot yet. He'd picked a good time to leave.

'I could make it.' He thought to himself. He thought that every time his back hurt when he bent to pick up firewood, or whenever he felt his child kick his ribs. He thought about his return to London anytime that Leroy came to mind, too.

And then, one day it happened.

He was carrying some wood for the raft, and he tripped.

Within hours, he was in the cave, trying his damnedest not to scream as he gave birth a month and a half early. The pain was nearly unbearable – worse than when he'd had Edward. At least then, the doctor had given him some Laudanum to dull it. Now he was on his own.

There was no one around to hear his screams. He was both grateful and sad about it. He would never admit it, but to have someone hold his hand as Lucy had done in the past… He would've appreciated that. Even such a small comfort would have gone a long way.

It took him half a week to recover enough to dig a hole and bury the infant, who had died not long after taking its first breath. It had been too soon for the child to live.

Sweeney finished the raft soon after.

00

"Still, it's sad." The boy's statement broke Sweeney from his thoughts. "To lose a child and all. I'm sorry that it happened to you."

Sweeney was taken aback by that statement. No one had shown him pity in years.

"What's your name, boy?"

"Anthony, sir."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Rescuing me. Your condolences. Just… I thank you."

"Are you going to be all right?"

Sweeney smiled, and closed his eyes once again.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Despite what's happened, I'll always have hope."

With that, Sweeney fell unconscious once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This references chapters 12 and 15 of the mpreg St. Joseph's Shelter for Men. This story can be found on my profile page.**

 **Thank you, again, to my wonderful beta Phish Tacko.**

Chapter 3

Benjamin had been out in the field doing work when he first felt a contraction. It was painful, but made him more nervous than anything.

He had found out only a few months prior that he was pregnant with another inmate's child. The man had cornered him, overpowered him, and raped him. It hadn't been the first time that something like this had happened – apparently, Benjamin had a "pretty face" and was much sought after – but it was the first time that he'd faced any consequences besides pain and humiliation.

'Stay calm...' He told himself. He had stopped working, and the other inmates were beginning to stare at him.

From his experience with Edward, he understood that the contractions would become more frequent over time. So, he probably still had a while to go before he was in full-blown labor. And he only had another hour of work left. If he could get through it, he could go back to his cell. Maybe there, he would get a modicum of peace as the baby came.

00

Through sheer force of will, Benjamin managed to avoid anyone noticing that he was in the early stages of labor for a full four hours. Only when he'd had a contraction so strong that it just about brought him to his knees did one of the guards see him.

For a brief moment, he had hope that maybe, maybe there would be mercy. Maybe the guard would take him to the hospital ward, let him give birth there. Maybe the nurses could give him something for the pain. Maybe they'd treat him nicely, like a human being. A human being in pain.

Of course, this was not to be. The guard simply smirked and shoved Benjamin into his cell.

From there, things only got worse. As the contractions intensified, he couldn't help but groan. It felt like he was being split in two. The pain was worse than when he'd had Edward. Even more, he couldn't help but wonder if the child would be stillborn. Would it happen again? And if he or she lived… Would Benjamin spend the rest of his days looking at her, knowing that she was the product of his rape?

He'd thought of all this before, but had pushed it out of his head each time. Now that he was finally in labor, the thoughts rushed back.

Then another contraction hit. Benjamin screamed.

Despite the pain, he could hear the other inmates laughing at him. Whatever. He chose not to focus on it. The baby would be coming soon, he could feel it. God, it hurt...

Another scream. He couldn't help it. Something hit him in the head, then something in the chest. People were throwing things at him.

Blood drenched the floor as he pushed and pushed until…

There was a cry.

Out of breath and nearly unconscious, Benjamin shakily took hold of his child.

It was a little girl. He used his sleeve to wipe some of the blood off of her face.

A beautiful little girl she was. She had thin blonde hair, and apparently a very powerful set of lungs.

"There, there," He whispered, hands still shaking. "It's okay…"

The baby began to quiet. Benjamin wanted to sleep, but forced himself to stay awake. Any remaining pain was drowned out by the feeling of joy that was taking over his heart.

The infant may have been a product of rape, but she was his, and as far as he was concerned, she was beautiful.

"Johanna," He called her. "That's your name... Johanna. I love you."

The baby reached up and took hold of his finger, and he smiled.

In the distance, footsteps approached. Benjamin was too weak to fight off the guards that took his daughter, but that day, he made a vow. He'd get her back no matter what. It was that thought that kept him going.


End file.
